wilfully
From LSJ
Μούνη γὰρ ἄγειν οὐκέτι σωκῶ λύπης ἀντίρροπον ἄχθος → I have no longer strength to bear alone the burden of grief that weighs me down
English > Greek (Woodhouse)
adv.
Obstinately: Ar. and P. αὐθάδως, P. σκληρῶς.
On purpose: P. and V. ἐκ προνοίας, P. ἐκ παρασκευῆς, Ar. and P. ἐπίτηδες, ἐξεπίτηδες; see intentionally.